Maybe it is because I am having to work every day this week. I do not mean to say I do not work every day because I do. It is just that it has been a very long time since I had to punch a time clock. In my daily life, I work my Mary Kay business except for two days a week and I roll based on my flexibility. This week it is different because I am standing in for someone who is on vacation. Could this be it? I do not know, but I would pay for a good night's sleep.
To be honest, I know it is probably because of all the things I have on my mind. It is a combination of all the things I listed above rolled up with a lot of questions and no answers. My family's future is up in the air and there is so much uncertainty surrounding us. For once in my life, I am relying solely on Christ for guidance, strength, peace, joy, and provision. It is something we all should do each and every day, but we do not. We think we can go through life on our own strength, but we are wrong. It is very possible that God has put me in this place ... at this exact moment ... just so I would have to rely on Him for every second of every day. He loves me so much He desires to have more of me. Isn't that what a good daddy would do? If we sensed our children slowly slipping out of grasp, then we would take extreme measures to reel them back in. It is not that I am turning from God because I know better than anyone that my life would be useless without Him. I think sometimes we just end up relying more on self than on Him. It is a slow process which gradually becomes a habit. Is this not how habits are made ... one step at a time, over and over and over again? Well, God, You got my attention! If this is truly why I am not sleeping, then I praise God for the lack of sleep. We can never have enough of Him in our lives.
With all that is happening around us, we need more of Christ and less of the world. We need His strength to sustain us. We need His peace to calm us. We need His joy to enlighten us. We need His light to shine through us so we can be a light in the vast darkness that is trying to cage us in daily. We need to feed off of His love and not off what we are reading and seeing in the media. It is a sad, sad time, Folks, and if you do not have that personal one-on-one relationship with Our Heavenly Father, then I would strongly encourage you today to seek it. Study His Word! Know without a doubt that if He would return tomorrow ... heck if He would return today ... which is highly possible, that you would spend eternity in Heaven.
As I was coming home yesterday from work, I was thinking about the uncertainty of people spending eternity with God. There are a few people which come to mind when I think this way. They are so fooled by what they think they know. They are an authority on the Bible without having ever studied it. I think it may have passed their eyes at one time or another, but they take what they want out of the Bible and apply it to life. They have no concept of how the Old and the New come together. They want to debate the Bible instead of understanding it. I am not much help to them as I am not a teacher. I would rather lead by example and leave the debates to others. I can only hope my walk is evident enough that it is planting seeds for others to water.
Life is difficult, My Friends ... as if you did not know this already! How do you handle the tough times? How do you handle the let down? How do you handle loss? How do you handle the day-to-day pressures without Him? I know I thought I was doing fine on my own once upon a time, but looking back, I was going around in circles to only end up at the same place every time. I am so glad I got off that merry-go-round! Now, though my life seems to be in shambles, I have a purpose in life. When I arise each and every day, I know what lies ahead. I know what I desire to accomplish. I know where He wants me. I know where He needs me. I know with certainty where I will end up when He comes to rescue His church. If you can say with certainty ... in the quiet of your soul and not just so others think you are more spiritual then you know you are, then you are good!
Have a great day and let your light shine!!!! AND, savor the sleep you are getting! I am going to celebrate in a BIG WAY when my sleep returns ... smile:)!