I tried to sidestep what I knew ahead of time could occur this morning. I thought I had planned things in a way to where I would not be in this position for which I now find myself. But you know what they say about well laid plans ... LOL! Yep, nothing panned out as I thought it would and here I sit.
At first I was very angry. I cried tears of disappointment because I felt God had let me down. I was confused as to why He would allow this to happen. Why in the world would He not want me to attend church this morning? Why in the world would He not provide in the way I needed? Why would He keep me from praising His name this morning with other like-minded Christians? Does not the Bible say we should gather together with our brothers and sisters in Christ to worship and honor Him? Why would He put up road blocks to prevent me from doing so?
I was so heavy hearted and sad. I look forward to my Sunday mornings. I love hearing Pastor share what God has put on his heart. I love getting to know more and more the people in the church where I now attend. Why? Why would He not clear the way for me to be there?
Well, Folks, this has nothing to do with God and everything to do with me. Yes, I planned ahead so this situation could be avoided. Yes, I knew in advance what I could possibly be dealing with. I even got angry at people when this had nothing to do with them at all. You see, this morning was out of my control. There was nothing more I could have done to prevent this from happening. This realization is what saddened me. But, when I was talking to God this morning, He made me realize a few things. Just hearing Him share with me in my spirit brightened my countenance. It gave me SONshine again in my heart. It allowed me to pick myself up, wipe the dust off, and turn what was meant for my harm into something positive.
I will still hear His Word ... I will still be with like-minded Christians ... I will still praise His name. It will just be in a different way and in a different venue. It will be from the comfort of my home. It is not my first choice, but it is what it is. I can either work with it and overcome, or I can sulk and lose what God has shown me.
What prevented me from attending church this morning was unavoidable and, as I said, there was nothing I could have done about it. However, it was my fault just the same. You see ... it was my poor choices and decisions from the past that caused the events of this morning. It had nothing to do with God not hearing my cries or Him not being willing to work things out for me. He could have freed me from all of this and just made a way, but then (1) I would not have heard what He so needed me to hear as a result of this; and (2) I would not be able to share with you. I am convinced there is someone out there who needs this word. There is someone out there struggling this morning in the same way as I was ... maybe for different reasons ... who needs to know God can turn it around if we will just tilt our ears to hear Him in the midst of the storm. We need to quiet our spirit and soul so He can speak into us. While I was crying and angry, He could not do anything. I was preventing Him from pouring into me. But, oh my, once I gave it to Him, the peace flowed like still waters ... calm and serene!
My Bible verse for this morning is Deuteronomy 7:22, “And the Lord your God will clear out those nations before you, little by little; you may not consume them quickly, lest the beasts of the field increase among you.” Little by little God is helping me overcome the mistakes of my past. He is helping me in small increments correct my poor choices. If He just waved His magic wand and fixed everything instantaneously, then where would be the lessons learned? It would only enable me to continue making the same mistakes by more wrong choices. This morning was a prime example of this. I just need to rethink some things so this does not occur again.
Here are a few paragraphs from my devotional this morning. Tell me God was not speaking to me ... LOL!
”... As I look back, however, I realize that God held my hand and let me advance in small steps. I had times of great discouragement - as we all do. I remember times of bitter tears over my personal failures. But God kept nudging me forward ...” Wow, this is exactly what He is doing in me, one small nudge at a time.
Here is some more from the same devotional: ” ... That’s the secret of living the victorious Christian life - we move ahead little by little. It’s an inching forward over months and years. Most of us can understand that. ... We don’t roust Satan in one big blow and then live in victory forever after. We win one small battle, and then we’re ready to move on to the next one. We may have a few major victories that come suddenly, but not many of them. The fight to destroy Satan’s strongholds comes mostly by daily, doggedly, moving ahead.”
If all our victories came at once, pride would slip in! Then, as my devotional shared, “Our attitude then would be to look down on others who have not been as victorious as we have been. We may not express our condescension in words, but won’t those we disdain sense that we think we’re superior? And, truthfully, wouldn’t we feel superior. We’ve made it; those poor souls are still struggling.” I never want to become that person. I would rather be in the position I am in today then to ever forget whence I came.
God bless and have a wonderful week!!!