My husband and I went to see the movie "Paul, the Apostle of Christ" last night. It was not as good as "I Can Only Imagine". It was slow, and to be honest, I almost fell asleep. As with all movies as this, it was not 100% biblical. These movies, however, do expand your mind with realizations of how difficult, dangerous, and dire situations truly were in those days. The Bible is not just sharing stories to be enjoyed. These are real people, as we are. They cut, they bleed. They lose, they cry. The dangers in their lives were real. They were real and so were their situations!!!!
We grabbed dinner before the movie which is challenging for me right now being I am doing the 'no sugar' thing, but I ate well. I had a nice big burger from Burger Bach without the bread. It was really good. Their meats are all organic and come only from grain-fed cattle. They are rather tasty and filling. While at the movies, I only had a small popcorn without butter. My husband could not believe I was doing this. I always ... ALWAYS ... have a large popcorn with LOADS of butter. I think he is finally realizing I am taking this whole health thing seriously. I am tired of being tired. No one can change my life for me except me by relying on His strength and my determination. Today is day #6.
Yesterday was a pretty good day all in all. I was feeling a bit blah but remaining focused on the goal and pressing ahead. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I knew it was going to be a challenging day. I decided I needed to mix things up a bit. I had on this new outfit which I had bought to give my self-esteem a lift because it was really dragging. I was excited to wear it. It did lift my spirits somewhat.
Do you know how you ... deep in your mind ... want people to comment on your appearance. You want them to notice you have on something new. You want them to compliment you. This is not ego speaking but a natural instinct when you are down and trying to feel better about yourself. Now, before all my very mature Christians get all bent out of shape, let me say this, "Yes, I know we are to rely on God for our encouragement ... for our joy, etc." I get all of this and it is my norm. However, yesterday ... as we all do periodically whether we want to confess it or not ... I needed verbal confirmation. I needed to be uplifted. I needed to be encouraged in the flesh as wrong as it is. I did not have the strength to rely on myself to do what is right. I was very heavy in spirit yesterday.
My morning started out with my husband coming by to pick up Foxie Anne. He never said anything. As a matter of fact, as he sometimes can be, he started to say something negative, but by the grace of God, he caught himself and never said anything. I just let it go because this is his norm. He is working on it and getting better, but for this day, I simply let it go. I am more than relieved he did the same. It would not have been a good day if God had not put His hand over my husband's mouth ... LOL! I have a plaque hanging in my office that says, "Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth." This is exactly what God did for my husband yesterday ... smile:)!
I drove on to work being uplifted by His Word on the radio and through the praise and worship music. Got to work ... nothing! The day went on ... nothing! I tried to tell myself we were busy and very under staffed, but I still had the need. I continued to be uplifting in spirit but in my heart I was beginning to feel as if maybe I did not look as good as I thought. Satan was trying to tell me I really oversold myself on this one. Not even my new shoes were worth commenting on ... I had not worn heels in years and nothing!
Our God is so good! He knows what we need when we need it. There was a closing going on at the office behind closed doors. I did not see the clients when they arrived as I was away from my desk. This is not abnormal because I do not always see people when they come into the office. However, on this day, I was actually working the front desk but I still did not see anyone come in. I would probably, as is the standard throughout my work days, not see them at all unless at a glance when they come or go. I do not personally do closings at this job.
A call came in for my boss who was handling the closing in the conference room behind closed doors. The caller had to be dealt with immediately. I gently knocked on the door, pushed it open a bit, and stuck my head in to advise my boss of the call. As she opened the door wider to exit, I could see the couple inside. As I was turning to walk away, the lady commented, "I love your outfit." BAM!!!! There it is. God gave me what I needed from complete strangers in a split second of being in their presence. I wanted to smile from ear to ear. I thanked her and returned to my desk. My steps were light and I was walking on air. I know my smile was big and my face was glowing. I was shining not because of her compliment but because of my God!!!! Once again I was reminded just how much He loves and cares for me. He knew what I needed and He provided. How awesome is He!!!!!
I have to share that I truly believe if I had allowed my countenance to deteriorate throughout the day with gloom being apparent, He would not have blessed me. Because I was pushing through by remaining uplifting and happy, though downtrodden in my spirit, He blessed me. Like a good Father who acknowledges when His child is good, my Heavenly Father did the same for me. This is not to say He has never blessed me when I have failed Him because He has. More times than not He only blesses me when He sees me walking out my faith. Not always, but most of the time.
On a much happier note, my son returned home last night. It was so nice to come home and see him here. I missed him so much. He had been gone all week for Spring break, but he was home now and this momma was happy!!!! If I could see my daughter now, I would be ecstatic.
Ok, I have to run. I have errands to do. My journey with sugar continues and Monday I will add on to my challenge. Pray for me as I so need it, and I am always praying for you.
Janet Molton Nicholson