Today ... well it has been blah all day. As long as I kept busy, which I did for a large portion of my day, I was good because I could focus on something else. Now, I am craving sugar so badly. I just want to cry. Maybe sitting down and having a good cry is what I need to do. Maybe I need to quit trying to fight my emotions and just go with them. Normally I would not recommend to anyone to allow their emotions to control them, but I am intelligent enough to know that my emotions are the way they are right now because of what I am doing to my body. It is not like I am allowing my emotions to rule my flesh as a rule of thumb. I did the research, so I know feeling the way I am feeling is to be expected.
I have to admit, however, that I sort of set myself up for failure on Wednesday. Monday was a bad day ... Tuesday was off the charts ... but then Wednesday came and I thought I had turned a corner for the better. I woke feeling more energized than I had in many, many months. My morning and early afternoon were great. I fooled myself into thinking maybe this sugar withdrawal thing was not all bad. Wrong! So, take my blah-ness I am feeling now, throw in a mix of deception, and you have a real making for a depressed night.
My emotions want to cry ... my body wants to sleep ... my mind says I am above this. My body aches in places it has not ached in months. My muscles are sore. How do I handle all of this? I overcome by agreeing with my mindset. I allow the strength I know is within me carry me through. He who is in me is stronger than he who is in the world. If I truly believe this in the pit of my soul, then I rely on it and I walk in faith knowing He will provide. I am pushing pass the emotions ... refusing to give into the craving ... and not allowing my body to simply go to sleep. I am instead here chatting with you. I could not think of a better way to overcome all of this mess.
To make matters worse, I had someone over for dinner tonight and it did not go well. Between their tiredness and my moodiness, it did not make for a good fit. We had a pleasurable dinner, but then it sort of fell apart. We parted on strained terms, but all will be good tomorrow. It just did not help my emotions to stay in check, if you know what I mean!
I did find out something rather interesting today. I am sure the majority of you already know this, but sometimes I am slow in figuring things out. I know someone who is struggling in a big way to lose weight. It seems everything they do either keeps them at the same weight, or they end up gaining weight. This person has been counting calories and working out diligently, but they continue to either maintain or gain. Come to find out, even though they are staying within their calories, because of their sugar intake they are basically going to the gym and working off the sugar they took in for the day. If they work it off, they maintain. If they do not work it off, they gain. It did not matter that they were counting calories. If the calories they were counting was high in processed sugar, they were fighting a losing battle. They were advised that the body has to burn the sugar before it can even begin to burn the fat. This is probably why people get so discouraged. They count calories, and though they are below what their calorie intake should be, they are ingesting too much sugar. This makes me feel good about pushing through this difficult time with sugar withdrawals. I know it is what is best for me.
As I was working in my office yesterday, I came across this poem which was encouraging to me. I hope it is to you also:
Each day brings new beginnings,
Decisions I must make.
I am the only one to choose
The road that I will take.
I can choose to take the road of life
That leads to great success,
Or travel down the darkened road
That leads to great distress.
Please open up my eyes, dear Lord,
That I might clearly see.
Help me stand for what is right.
Bring out the best in me.
Help me, Lord, to just say "no"
When temptation comes my way
That I might keep my body clean
And fit for life each day.
When my years are over,
I know that I will see
That life was lived its very best
With You walking next to me.
Tomorrow will be a better day. I know I can count on you to say a prayer for me!
Have a great evening!
Janet Molton Nicholson