I knew the situation I was dealing with was this critical, but the fasting part was the issue. I have never really been good at fasting. I was doubtful I could do it, but I knew ... with no doubt in my heart ... God would hear my prayers and deliver. I set my mind on fasting knowing it was the only way. I was desperate and desperate situations call for desperate measures. I prayed throughout the morning as I got ready for work. I prayed going down the road. I asked God for His strength to help me fast because He knew just how desperate I was. I had a big mountain I needed moved and I needed Him to move it. As I drove and prayed, I knew I could do this because through Him I could do anything. I was totally relying on His strength because I had done!
As I was driving and praying, God spoke to me yet again through Matthew 18:20 which states, "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” I knew I needed a second person to stand in faith with me and be my fasting partner. I called the one and only person I knew without a doubt would stand alongside of me. They are always available to me. I had no hesitation in asking them to fast throughout the day with me, standing in faith together for this mountain to be removed. As always, they showed no doubt and agreed to be my partner in fasting and praying for the day. You have to understand that I called this person at 7:30 in the morning. What a relief to have someone so faithful in your corner. We all should strive to be such a Christian ... always willing to be there for others ... always willing to sacrifice of our time and resources. It is the 'sacrifice' part where people fall by the wayside. I have never been more aware of this than I am today, but this is another story for another time.
I was all set for my fasting. My determination was running high ... not so much in faith I could do it, but in faith that He would give me strength to do it. Also I knew with certainty the issues we were dealing with were straight from the enemy. I was fighting for resolution but also for the soul of another. I do not think I ever felt so desperate and afraid. I had to have this mountain removed or my life ... and the life of another ... would be forever changed and not in a good way. This person I was praying for was fighting a demonic battle ... this situation was of satan! To make matters even more dire, the individual was not even aware of the war they were in. I knew the dangers which could be lying ahead. I also knew I had to do something NOW!
Throughout my morning at work, I prayed continually in my mind. I had Bible verses lined up in front of my key board so I could see them and recite them. I knew God was listening, and the more this became a reality to me, the harder I prayed. As I prayed, I could feel victory rising up on the inside of me. However, because of the severity of the situation, I could also feel the fear lying in wait at the pit of my gut. It was as if 'victory' and 'fear' were in battle on the inside of me throughout my morning.
People, let me tell you something ... when God moves, God moves!!!! Around 10:30 or so my telephone rang. I could see the caller identification so I was very aware who was on the other end. I knew this could be bad or it could be good. I answered the call, and when I hung up, I wanted to shout for joy at the top of my lungs. God not only moved the mountain, but He did it in record breaking time. I immediately telephoned my prayer partner, and we rejoiced together. How awesome a God we serve!!!! Needless to say, my day ahead looked brighter and happier than it had started. God is so faithful. We do our part, and He more than does His!!!
The day was going well. I was walking on air! I was now looking forward to meeting up with some friends after work as I had planned over a week ago. My life had purpose again and hope. All was good in this lady's life!!! The end of the day soon rolled around, and I was headed out to visit with friends for the evening. As I left work and was driving to my friend's house, it dawned on me I had forgotten to tell my son I would not be home from work. My husband was out of town for the evening, so I knew my son would be getting home to a dark house. I tried repeatedly to call him on his cell phone without much success. I just shrugged it off because I could picture him in his bedroom playing video games with his headset on. Besides, I knew without a doubt he would be blowing up my telephone with texts soon because he would be hungry and want to know where mom was.
It amazes me how quickly you can go from the mountaintop to the valley in a split second. Again, for the second time in 24 hours, my life would take another downward spiral. I got to my friend's. I sat my cell phone down where I could keep an eye on it knowing my son's texts would start any time. As 6:00 rolled around ... then 6:30, 7:00 and 7:30 ... I started getting a bit anxious. I could not phantom why my son had not texted me or tried to call. I excused myself for the evening and headed home. You can only imagine how my 45 minute drive turned into what seemed like forever. I prayed and I refused to allow fear to get the best of me. I refused to allow the tears to flow. I welled up but I would not go there again! I simply could not. My heart was breaking and I would not allow it to completely shatter.
As I paused at the top of the hill where I could see my house, it was totally dark. I entered the driveway to the left of the house ... where I have total view of my son's room ... and nothing! It was completely dark. Knowing my son gets home around 3:15 and it was now well past 8:00, my heart was in my throat. I could not reach the end of our driveway quick enough. As I was slowing down to park alongside the sidewalk, my headlights reflected on my son standing there. I was so relieved to see him. I jumped out of the vehicle, ran over to him, threw my arms around him, and began kissing his beautiful cheeks over and over. When I finally calmed down, I stood back looking at him and said, "Son, what in the world are you doing out here?" He responded with, "I left my cell phone in the house this morning and also my house keys". My poor baby had been standing outside for over 5 hours.
We both started to laugh and simply hug. I said to him, "Son, what in the world have you been doing all this time?" He replied, "Mom, I had my laptop so I was on that until around 5:00 or so before it finally died. I did not think much of it though because I knew my mom would be home soon". Ouch! I could hear a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Good sarcasm if you know what I mean ... he was playing with me though he was telling the truth! I then knew I deserved the 'Most Horrible Mother Award'! Again, we started to laugh. I was so relieved to see he could laugh at himself.
We went into the house, got situated, and fixed us some dinner. As we were chilling, eating and watching television, I glanced over at him and thought how differently this could have turned out. My heart was overwhelmed with sadness at the many situations in life where this had turned out not-so-happy for other parents. I could not even begin to imagine in my finite mind such pain. If I even allowed myself to go there through thought only ... well I could not! How do you endure such a loss. Just the thought of it ... well, I had to stop. I could feel myself getting physically ill in the pit of my stomach. God has a special place for the parents who have lost a child in life. It simply was not His design! I have watched both of my brothers bury a child. I have watched my best friend's mother bury her daughter. I have spoken to my ex-sister-in-law about her pain of losing her only son. How precious these people are. Our pain in life will never EVER compare to theirs!
So how was your Monday?