The person I dreamt about was always a Mystery Man to me. As a young child, I would hear his name from time to time. It was unavoidable as he played a pivotal role years prior in the lives of a few of my loved ones. Over the course of time, as I grew into a teenager, he became sort of a mystery to me. I would ponder what he looked like ... the role he played in lives I loved ... why he did or did not do certain things ... and the questions grew as I did.
One day as a young woman I had the opportunity to meet this Mystery Man, and surprisingly, we became fast friends. We shared many happy moments ... reminisced about past years ... discussed some of my loved ones ... and forged a bond. I was always happy to have gotten the opportunity to lay all my teenage ponderings to rest. Then, after he was called home, his impact on my life became even more significant and gave reason for pondering. All of that has since been laid to rest today and I am left with only fond memories. Sometimes I think of him and wish I could ask him a few things, but other than that, he was just another player in my world of years past. I will come across one of the many pictures I now have of him and only smile.
Last night, he visited with me in my dreams. I woke with a smile on my face and the ability to see him as if he were in front of me. It was not anything significant, but just two individuals sharing a fun time and laughter. I woke remembering it all.
I really cannot recall the location of the dream, but we were in a house which I think was mine. He was sitting at my kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee ... this in and of itself was strange because I do not remember ever seeing him drink anything except for alcohol. He was laughing as only he could and had on a baby blue dress shirt. He looked just as I remember him. He always carried this mystery aura about himself. Maybe that is because of things I stored up that I heard over the years, but I always looked at him with awe. His laughter was contagious, but if you looked hard enough, you could see hurt and pain deep within his eyes. You always wanted to hug him, but you could never understand why. Knowing about him what I know today, I am sure ... deep within the pit of his soul ... he carried around a lot of regrets, sorrows, and questions of his own as to why he did the things he did, both present and past. I am sure the surface laughter I witnessed whenever I was in his presence was just a facade to mask much deeper emotions and feelings. Today was no different.
He was preparing to go to his dad’s funeral, and I was sharing pictures with him of some of my loved ones as children and teenagers. Thrown into the mix were pictures of me as an infant, along some others of individuals he knew. We would look at them and laugh ... sharing a fond memory here and there. He was adamant he wanted to take some of these pictures with him to share at the funeral. I thought this was odd and told him so. Again, we would just chuckle.
It was not a deep dream or anything, but being I could remember it all ... rewinding it as I am typing this ... makes me wonder the significance of it. This Mystery Man, many years after he passed, caused me some heartache and left me with some very heavy questions. It was only for a short period of time, but it only added to his mystery.
As an adult woman, all of my questions have been answered as best they could be and I am at peace with the resolutions I have come up with. I will never fully understand the Mystery Man ... his feelings about certain individuals ... his role in a lot of the years past of my loved ones ... his lack of being who I felt he should have been ... his absence ... the marks he left on people in my life (both past and present) ... or many things. One thing I know for sure ... he visited with me last night and left me with a warm feeling in the bit of my soul and woke me with a smile on my face. To that I say, ‘thank you’! I am glad I got to meet you and share the special times we did.
Until we meet again ....